Friday, July 20, 2012

Top ten signs of verbal abuse in a relationship


Here is a worth sharing article about verbal abuse which i have found on the internet.... So kindly read it with patience...!!
Many people are involved in abusive relationships that don’t create any physical scars or bruises. The abuse they suffer is just as real and just as destructive to their well-being. Verbal abuse can damage a person emotionally when they must live with it in their home on a continuous basis. Because it is ‘just words’ it is often not recognized as being abuse ,by either the victim or those around them. Men are victims of this type of abuse, just as women are. Here are ten signs of verbal abuse in a relationship.

Name calling – Derogatory name calling, such as stupid, dummy, idiot or other such demeaning terms should not be considered a normal part of a relationship. Even when a person is angry, this type of language is not necessary and shows an extreme lack of respect for the other person and should be considered abusive.

Cursing – Many people curse when they get upset. That is not uncommon. However, when the cursing is directed at another person and is combined with some of the other signs listed here, it can also be a sign of verbal abuse.
Shouting – Again, raising a persons voice in anger is not uncommon. But if one person in a relationship is continually raising their voice in anger towards the other one, it may be a sign that they use their voice to intimidate that other party.


Put downs – Continual criticism, and a refusal to acknowledge positive achievements, can be another aspect of verbal abuse. Everyone is in need of affirmation of their value and worth to those around them, to some degree.
Threats – Being verbally threatened can be as frightening as having those threats carried out. Verbal abusers often will threaten their victims with physical harm, embarrassment, restrictions on their finances, harm to others and retaliation in a variety of other forms.
Blame – Abusers will often blame their victims for their actions. ‘If you wouldn’t be so stupid.’ ‘If you wouldn’t have done that.’ Every person is responsible for their own choices and actions. In an abusive situation, the abuser will always find an excuse to continue their behavior, no matter how much the victim tries to perfect their own.
Lack of courtesy – Ignoring common courtesies within a relationship can also be a sign of abuse. An abuser may not feel it is necessary to make requests, but instead gives orders to the other person. The manners they display with others may be lacking when it comes to that indivdual.
Low self-esteem – There are signs that can be seen in the victim, as well. A low self-esteem is a natural result of abuse, in any form. The victim often does not see themselves as deserving better treatment.


Timidity – Victims of verbal abuse will often appear timid and hesitant to speak up or ask questions. The slightest raising of your voice may cause them to cower or bring tears to their eyes. They are used to being intimidated and controlled by another person’s voice.
Fear of failure – Since victims of abuse are often told it is their failures that bring on the abuse, they have a great fear of failure. New circumstances and learning opportunities are often seen simply as risks of failure, which could lead to the abuse they try so desperately to avoid.

If you recognized yourself as a victim of verbal abuse while reading these 10 signs, it is important that you seek help. Abuse is never justified. Seek counseling for yourself or for the two of you together. Healthy relationships are not dominated by one person over the other.
So say no to verbal abuse. If u atleast find someone doing it,kindly warn them and make them understand or realise that its wrong...
Do good... Be good :)
Keep rocking,
Regards,
Sriram Mallik.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

A worth sharing thought about being possesive


Friends,this is a small article along with a small thought which i've recollected that i wanted to share with you all.. I believe thats worth sharing



I once had a family friend, who grew to be very close to me. Infact she was my senior but still we were very close friends.

Once when we were sitting at the beach, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said "You see this water carefully contained on my hand..? It symbolizes Love."

I thought for a while and then this was how I saw it.. As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.


Well being frank,i recollected this incident because i found that in the recent days,this is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love...they try to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the water spilling out of the hand, love will retrieve from them .

For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.


Give and don't expect.Advise, but don't order.Ask, but never demand.

It might sound easy or rather simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."

Passing thought... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away.....

Life is beautiful!!! Live it !!! Love it!!!!!


So think once again about it..Keep rocking,
Regards,
Sriram Mallik.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

How to impress a girl..?? Follow these tips


To all those single guys,here is a small article dedicated to you all..I am mentioning a few ways to impress a cute/sweet gal that has touched your heart...Read them,follow the best points that you like and win her...Keep rocking....But before that,click read more to read the article...!!


Be perfectly clean and neat : Brush your teeth, floss, shower, wash your hair, and apply Certain medicines (if you have a problem with your skin) daily. This is essential if you are even going to approach an attractive girl. Wear clean, attractive clothes that fit (if in doubt, get an older sister or close female friend to help you in this context). Don't wear skin tight clothes, but don't wear clothes that are too loose.


Have the perfect attitude : Be fun to hang around with, easy to laugh with, and be outgoing. Just don't be full of yourself. A girl may like a reserved guy at first, but eventually, she will find it selfish. Don't try to impress everyone - girls like humble guys. At the same time, a sense of humor is always a plus. Girls love it when guys can make them laugh.



Show respect : If you respect everyone and give them their space, they'll all respect you. With girls, it works even better. If they see you respecting everyone, and not getting pushed around while you're at it, they will be re-assured that you will treat them right. Be kind to all.



Have good conversations Don't talk about how you beat the dragon enemy in the mario game(LOL)... unless you know them well enough that you know they are at least semi-interested (otherwise, it's just a big jumble to her). Try to aim for you both to be speaking 50% of the time, but make sure that you are saying something worthwhile; it's not attractive when only one person talks endlessly. Another thing to watch for is her attention. If she isn't paying complete attention, do not repeat yourself several times. This makes girls feel you are desperate, and usually annoying.
NOTE:Girls easily get irritated :-p



Show interest in her - let her talk The biggest mistake when talking to a girl is focusing on yourself. Girls are way more comfortable when they talk about common interests. Ask about their interests, hobbies, favorite books, music, etc. but not in that stalker kind of way. If she asks you a question, answer it in a few, short sentences and then redirect the question back at her. This engages her in the conversation. When in doubt, compliment her. Even if a girl does not like you yet, complimenting her will make her feel good about herself and think positively about you.



Try flirting : Most of the girls hate it when a guy flirts too much..But don't be obsessive! If you both make eye contact, do not be the one to look away, but do not stare for too long. When you both make eye contact, just give a slight smile. She may look away and she might blush a little. Be careful though; you don't want to stare her down. A good move is to look away, and if she likes you she will shoot you glances. Watch for that. And be courteous. Pull out a chair for her.If possible Give Gifts. Do kind things. Girls love that.Girls love to receive complements from guys so manage in such a way that she will only find you complementing but not too much flirting


Respect her friends and their ideas and opinions : Always speak highly of her and never talk trash about her. It will damage her reputation and yours and she'll possibly dump you. Of course, her friends are going to tell her that you trash talked her. Hopefully then it will work both ways - she will be tolerant of your friends. Be careful not to compliment her friends too much, however. Example: You may say "Your friends seem cool. We should hang out with them and my friends some time, I think they'd get along". You may not say "She is so hot. She has the nicest eyes". You may think getting her jealous is a good idea, but it just makes them angry.



Have your friends be nice to her It's a fantastic thing when your friends don't make a total fool of you. Warn them ahead of time and avoid topics pertaining to embarrassing moments of your past or awkward jokes that make very little sense.



Be polite to her parents : Be kind to everyone, especially them. Don't be too over-the-top charming with the parents, however, or they'll think that you have something to hide.



Don't criticize her Unless she asks for constructive criticism. And even then she probably wants you to compliment her.



Be romantic, but not over the top : It's okay to be a little cheesy, like giving her a bouquet of roses and a loving poem. It may sound like a bad idea, but girls will find it thoughtful if it came from your heart



Start talking to her casually If you don't know her, make friendly conversation.Ask for the time, and/or compliment her watch.



Be careful with what you say Do not discuss bodily functions in her presence, or make jokes of a sexual nature unless she starts doing so. Also, don't discuss anything gross or raunchy. Don't talk about bathroom jokes or sexual jokes. She'll get grossed out, and anyway, you're going to find that pretty girls and gross things don't mix... at all.



Hum a few bars of a song she likes around her She might think of you whenever she hears that song. And she'll probably be impressed by your good taste in music. Some girls have actually dumped guys or stopped liking guys when they insulted the music they like.So, it's OK not to like her music, but don't be insulting her favorite singer..! Try to agree with her as much as possible but not so over the top that she knows your not being yourself ("I know, hez the best music director !"). Make sure the song is not overly feminine however.



Start an inside joke with her : She will feel included and become closer to you. It also gives you an easy-to-come-up-with conversation starter. Try not to overuse it and kill the joke.



End later meetings with a hug or plans to meet some other time, if you can.


Tell her that you "like her" Ask her out.


Try to get her attentions to your plus and away from minus, but be original


Touch her occasionally like on the shoulder or hand.Remember a touch can show much affection than your words..But be careful that you dont touch else where :-p


Opposites attract : Be a courageous gentleman, not like a lady might be. Stand up for her if something is wrong.


Show your funny side : A lot of women look for sense of humor in a partner. You should however be mindful of their reactions to your jokes and avoid offensive humor.Unless they like that. Find out if she likes comedy. If she watches Comedy Circus, find out her favorite comedian or favorite impression and try it out for her.


Make Her Feel Good : This is a really good thing that impresses girls. They love it when you let them know you care for them. If she's sad, just simply put your arm around her neck. Make her happy : Make sure she is ALWAYS happy. Or at least as much as you can.

Don't ever make fun of your friends around her If you do, it might make her think that your a jerk. Even people that are not your friends, don't make fun of anyone around her(Unless they absolutely hate them too). And if you are making fun of someone and she thinks it's funny (for whatever reason) don't go over bored..



So guyzzzzzzz........Hope these points would help you atleast in grabbing the attention of a cute girl in your life...Keep rocking...!!

Regards,

Sriram Mallik.