When I was 10 years old I had more than 50 friends. Its not an exaggerated figure I tell you. They were really my good friends. I never judged them as good, bad , intelligent or anything . Our needs were trivial as borrowing notes or playing together . I helped when they needed me and vice-versa .Friend in need is a friend indeed . So we were friends !! They visited my house regularly and my mother would often get angry over me why I had so many friends.
After 5 years , I had just 5-10 friends. My perception of things happening around increased . I also started judging people as I could see more in every people . My thoughts were little ruined.. perhaps decayed over time. My needs increased from borrowing just notes and playing together . Although I loved my friends very much , I never stopped judging them . Why people have to judge anyway. Everyone is the way he is . I wish I were 10 years old again . No judging. Everyone is good . I was so happy then .
Now when I am 20 , I doubt if I have any friends . My thoughts are so twisted. I feel different and lonely . And I live almost two parallel lives – the one my friends think I am and the other which is lonely , different , depressed , unpractical and keeps wondering over philosophical thoughts .And I blame my friends for not understanding me . Phew ! I am the one so twisted . I am so fortunate enough that at least they try to understand. People say friend in need is a friend indeed . I want my friend to understand me . That is my need . I want my friend to provide moral support to me. But they cant as they don't understand me .Its not their fault . Does that mean he is not my friend. Definitions and sayings fail too. So what is friendship? Even the best friends split if one is not available for help when he needs one for ,maybe , some valid reasons . I don't know what friendship means . If I stick to definitions .. I am afraid I never had a friend . But I have a company .. . I love them all ..very very much . I don't know whether they are friends or more than friends . I don't want to know . I just want to be with them .
So friends,my sincere advice is not to loose any friends...Remove all the feelings of ego etc and try to be a best friend to everyone....Keep rocking..!
Regards,
Sriram Mallik.
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